She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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