I'm jealous of your bromance
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
