this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
