On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
