OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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