I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
