Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize