I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
