Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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