I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
