Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
last night I used snow as a chaser
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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