Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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