My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Randomize
