I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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