What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
