I want to have your abortion
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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