To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
