Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
