i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
