i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
