evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
