Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
