I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
