is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Your penis caused this!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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