so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
