was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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