he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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