Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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