How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
