I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize