Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize