I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
