he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
no you cant smoke seaweed
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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