wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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