I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
