if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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