so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
