we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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