I wish I could punch you in the face.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
