he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
