i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
