This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
