Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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