Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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