just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
