i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
