lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
