life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
