Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Can Purell be used as lube?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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