hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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