I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
