haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
