Whatcha textin bout Willis?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
