I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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