so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
