Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
