I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
