Umm I'm too high to move.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She's just so happy...and so naked.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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