I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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