So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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