Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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