I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
