I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
