Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
