I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
