I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize