This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
