question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
