lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
