Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
