so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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